Use Forcing Functions To Become A Better Dancer

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Want to be a better, more confident dancer? Maybe it’s time to use a forcing function.

What The Heck Is A Forcing Function?

Have you ever tried to start the microwave with the door open? Or take the key out of the ignition while the car is in drive?

These are two examples of behavior-shaping constraints, otherwise known as forcing functions. Like the name suggests, these functions force you to act in a certain way to get a desired effect.

Forcing Functions For Dancers

If you want to improve your dancing, forcing functions are a powerful mental model to use. Let me explain with an example.

You want to become a better social dancer. You go out dancing four nights a week… good for you! But there is a problem. Whenever you have a bad dance, you get so embarrassed that you immediately jump in your car and drive home. Some nights this can be after just one dance! What to do?

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There are several forcing functions to consider. But first, what is the goal of said function? We want to be out social dancing for at least two hours each night.

What is the action we want to avoid with this function? We don’t want to make a quick exit after our first bad dance. Ok, now let’s brainstorm options:

  • Sell your car to rely on Uber/friends/public transport to get there and back.
  • Give a friend $100 when you arrive and tell them that if you leave early, they can keep it.
  • Promise a friend you will give them a ride home each night
  • Take two shots of Patron before you dance with anyone
  • And so on…

Take a moment and consider these options (and others). Which does the best job of achieving the desired goal while avoiding the negative action?

Selling your car would avoid the negative action of hopping in your car. But then you have no car and you can still get out of there immediately via other methods. No go.

Promising a friend a ride home is great if you have a friend staying for two hours each night. Forcing functions should always be there, not sometimes. Ixnay.

Taking two shots of Patron means it will take two hours to drive under the legal limit (thank you, metabolism!). But you can still get home via Uber. And the alcohol may affect your dancing. Nix.

That leaves the $100 to a friend. The good thing about this is you probably have enough friends at a social to always find someone. If a friend leaves early, you can give it to another friend. This method also sidesteps the need to become an alcoholic (always good).

But you do have to choose to give the $100 to someone. The constraint is self-inflicted each time. It would be better to set a forcing function and forget it. But of the options, this is my favorite.

Forcing Functions In The Wild

The $100 forcing function relies on $100 being a meaningful amount of cash. If it’s not, bump it up until it is. Once it is, you’ll notice the scene play out like this:

You go to the club. You find your trusted friend and palm him the Benjamin. On your first dance, you step square on your partners foot and they let out a loud scream. You feel terrible and decide to go home. Dammit!

You already paid $10 to get into this social and now you are going to lose another $100 if you want to leave. What to do?

You decide to go outside to get away from the peering eyes. After 10 minutes, your friend sees you outside. The two of you get to chatting and they ask you to dance. You say no. They insist. You accept out of obligation. And you have a great dance!

This is just one example. The takeaway is you can design a system to overcome whatever challenge you face in your dancing. These can be challenges of execution along with the above example of motivation.

Do you have examples of forcing functions you have used or seen to improve your dancing? If so, I’d love to hear them.

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  • David Sander says:

    Most people seem to have a gut level instinct to avoid looking bad, or feeling bad or thinking they might look bad in dancing. The idea here is the improvement of the individual and there is no substitute for the time spent in training on steps, improved social graces, and challenging ourselves to improvement. This is not always easy, but it seems to be the most frequent issue that comes up when I dance with a beginner. My own beginner status was extended and painful! But when I talk this year to Anya Katsevman, she replied that she was a slow learner too. It was one of the better motivational boosts I had heard in a while.

    So part of the problem is getting people to be OK with being imperfect, to enjoy themselves in spite of this and be able to find and recognize their own weaknesses. As part of starting dancing over a decade ago, I had several objectives in taking up dancing that really had more to do with meeting people, working on my people skills, and taking up an utterly new challenge. Self improvement is part of the motivation that should drive dancers and they should realize this is an honest price for overcoming their feelings and the end result is worth it and priceless!
    Challenge your feelings of inadequacy or too comfortable habits in becoming a better dancer! Use good judgement in keeping new movements in lessons until you have a good chance of executing them on the floor or dance them with an instructor who will have a duty to guide your improvement.

  • Abhra Basak says:

    I became the DJ at my local socials so I have to make myself stay until the last man. ?

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